I like cheap food. I'm parsiminous that way (it sounds nicer than frugal). So when a plastic tub of strawberries was marked at $.75 from $2.99, I scooped it and its twin right up last night.
Ignoring the almost third of them which were starting mold and/or had bruises, I carefully shocked the rest with a cold water bath and snipped their tops.
Having recently finished the last of them, I noticed a few things while slurping them down. And having nothing better to blog about, I have decided to share them with y'all.
1) When they're dry, the outer skin of a strawberry feels just like a tongue.
That I would be french-kissing a strawberry while watching "Sin City" is probably best left to a trained professional, but I'm a poor writer who spent her lottery ticket money on fresh food--so y'all will have to click your teeth and shake your heads at me for free.
2) Really really ripe strawberries are juicy deliciousness but there is a fine line between "really really ripe" and "beginning to mold".
Cold water can only arrest this development for a few hours. The next day, those strawberries are goners.
3) No matter if they've smelled it a hundred times before and a hundred times before determined its not for them/they don't like it, every single cat needs to smell each and every single strawberry before I'm allowed to eat it.
After all, they can't have me eat something bad and die. Who would work the can opener then?
4) The valentine Runts that are just the cherry and strawberry pieces are really good and despite being full of sugar, the strawberry pieces taste a lot like real strawberries.
I ate them side by side, I should know.
4a) Cats feel no need to sniff the Runts.
Those are Safe For Human Consumption(tm).
5) Dill pickles do not go well with strawberries-real or candy versions.
So I waited until after I was done with the real stuff, ate the pickles and the flavored chips, then finished the candies. I have a strong, strange stomach and drink no pepto-bismal for it!
*6) Just why are strawberries so (real) heart-shaped looking? Is it a nature conspiracy that strawberries are in season during Valentine's?
These are some of the questions that keep me from pondering my navel. Its busy discussing the finer points of noise with my armpit.
*Not a real pondering, more of a rhetorical questioning...or something.