Wikipedia is a date-rape drug

Ok: I am pleading the 5th, while hunting with the 2nd, cussing with the 1st, being treated like a Pre-13th, while having a pint with the 21st in the booth with with Sarah Palin doing the 19th AND the 9th because the 4th cant do a damn thing about it, until we got caught and put through the 6, 7, and 8th. Luckily, for me, Palin is an 11th and HAHA God Bless the 10th!

Man jailed for singing 'Spiderpig'

Because when all of India is afightin' (they got nukes and are pissed at Pakistan who has some too--oh lovely), it stands to reason that the people (da British) that "civilized them" a few 150 + years ago would decide a drunk Scot singing at the cops is a jailable offense. Really, can't they get over that whole abandonment-for-the-colonies issue and enjoy a nice "Thanksgiving"?



A man in Scotland has been handed a three-month jail term for singing 'Spiderpig' from The Simpsons Movie, reports the BBC.

David Mullen, 22, from Blairgowrie, sang the tune at police officers and called one "ginger" while sitting in the back of a police van.

Mullen claimed that he burst into a rendition of the song, which Homer sings to the theme of 'Spider-Man' while walking his pig across the ceiling, because it was his mobile ringtone.

His solicitor Paul Ralph said: "He started the song and that was the origin of the joke, but things went further. He felt he had not done anything to be apprehended for."

Mullen, who has abused alcohol since the age of 12, was later given a further eight-month prison sentence for assaulting a police officer and breaching bail curfew.

Perth Sheriff Court's Robert McCreadie said: "It is tragic that you have taken alcohol for almost half of your life. You have a dreadful record for a man of 22.

"It is now your decision if you want to continue down the tragic and appalling road you have chosen for yourself."

Row, row, row to home?

Drunken Swede tries to row home from Denmark

COPENHAGEN (Reuters) - A drunken 78-year-old Swede stole a dinghy after a night out in the Danish town of Helsingor and tried to row back to Sweden, but fell asleep halfway, Danish police said on Monday.

When the man discovered he lacked the necessary funds to pay for the ferry from Helsingor to Helsingborg in Sweden on Saturday, he decided to row the five km (three miles) across the strait of Oresund that separates the two.

He quickly grew tired and, trusting fortune and the currents to see him safely home, took a snooze at the bottom of the boat, where Danish police later found him out at sea, still asleep.

The strait is one of the busiest shipping lanes in the world. Police said the owner of the dinghy had decided not to press charges. {How would you file a claim on something like that?}

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There was an incident late last century (the 20th) around here where a guy couldn't afford a cab home (and everyone he knew was gone) so he tried to steal one of the horses pulling the carriage that was taking people from the parking area to the entrance. Apparently his blood alcohol level was higher than his I.Q. He got a Drunk and Disorderly charge, paid a fine, attended classes and *poof* went the official record...but not the story!

The New Urban Camouflage-by Famous Dave's

Homeowner Confronts BBQ Sauce-Covered Man in His Basement

Police say an Appleton family is still recovering from a scary incident early Wednesday morning when a man covered with barbecue sauce was in their basement.

Investigators say 35-year-old Aaron Maurice broke into the family's home on North Wilmer while they were sleeping around 4:30 A.M.

Not only was it frightening but police say it was very strange. At the time of the break-in, police say Maurice was whistling and covered in barbecue sauce.

"They thought they heard something in the basement, so they listened for a little bit and they heard what sounded like somebody in the basement whistling," Sergeant Pat DeWall of the Appleton Police Department said.

Police say the woman living there locked herself in a room with her two-year-old child. Her husband grabbed a shotgun.

"At that point in time he shut off the lights and the person in the basement yelled up to him something to the effect, 'What are you doing?'" DeWall said.

According to the criminal complaint, the homeowner held Maurice at gunpoint until officers arrived.

When he asked Maurice why he was there, Maurice said he was on the run from the government. And about the barbecue sauce? "The officers asked him that. He told the officers that it was urban camouflage," DeWall said.

Police say the house was locked up at the time and there was no sign of forced entry, so they're not sure how Maurice got into the home.

Maurice is jailed on a burglary charge.

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Would mustard be desert camouflage?

Whats running through my head right now? The tune to these lyrics:

They call me Maurice, they call me the gangster of love...

I'm going to sleep now. Its past my naptime.

"Best" Buy? Good Luck!

"The Courant site confirms an oft-rumoured possibility: Best Buy does indeed maintain a second website for what one could assume is for the purpose of defrauding its customers. State Attorney General Richard Blumenthal ordered the investigation into Best Buy's practices on Feb. 9 after columnist George Gombossy disclosed the website and showed how employees at two Connecticut stores used it to deny customers a $150 discount on a computer advertised on BestBuy.com. Says Gombossy, 'What is more troubling to me, and to some Best Buy customers, is that even when one informs a salesperson of the Internet price, customers have been shown the intranet site, which looks identical to the Internet site, but does not always show the lowest price. [State Attorney General Richard Blumenthal] said that because of the fuzzy responses from Best Buy, he has yet to figure out the real motivation behind the intranet site and whether sales people are encouraged to use it to cheat customers.'"

I've done the bit where I go to a big store for a sale, find the item NOT on sale, go home, print out the internet page, go back to the store and show the clerk only to be denied the sale price. It happened twice at different stores across town from me. I did not buy the item, I complained all the way up and included my gas and time in the bill I sent with the complaint.

Interestingly, one "bill" was paid in an offer that was sale price minus the amount of my "bill" which one of the above companies made "to reclaim my business". I bought two of them.

Now I print out the ad first, call the store to see if the price matches--I also tape the conversation on speakerphone as its legal in Iowa (yes I know this makes me weird but since people/corporations cannot be honest and do things the accepted way I play their own game against them), and THEN go to the store. If they refuse to match the advertised price from their OWN website, I demand a manager and tape their bullshit. I have stood in stores and called regional managers on the store phone.

I have yet to be denied the sale price and generally receive excellent service thereafter. I wouldn't imagine its because I'm unforgettable, more "there is the crazy woman again".

Since I started doing all of the above, I haven't had a clerk stupid enough to try and pull up their website in-store and give me a different number. Most of them just shrug and say the "mis-marked price just hasn't been updated" and after a little conference, give me the correct price.
Thus rendering my super powers deflated! Or something equally as fascinating.

But since the investigation (above article) was launched the day after Anna Nicole Smith's death, one could presume it was because everyone was looking for a condolence gift.

I'm just assuming...because there just aren't enough Anna Nicole Smith-related stories.